Today, I'm turning 35 and I'm feeling old! It's been an exhausting few nights of teething, working late and our toddler fighting bed time. Jonah comes up with hilarious excuses when it comes to bed time. The one last nights was no exception: "Jonah it's bed time!"
"No daddy! It's not bed time, it's train time!"
I've taken my birthday off. Life is going by so fast and scheduling time to get my hair done at the moment is hard. However, I'm in the hairdressers having a hot cup of tea and I've got a cinema date later with my handsome husband. The last time we had time for us was January. Although life is busy and crazy, I wouldn't change it for the world!
We have decided to stop at two children and I have such mixed emotions about it. We have discussed it at length and know it is what is right for us. I'm still breast feeding Sofia. I plan on stopping in a couple of weeks when she turns one and that in itself makes me feel very emotional. To know we won't have another newborn makes me feel sad.
I loved pregnancy and birth and would do it again in a heartbeat. I loved the changes in my body, feeling the baby move and getting a whole new appreciation for how women are when you can see the result of birth. It is so amazing!
When I watch the births when I'm teaching the course, my ovaries start twitching at the moment the baby comes out. Knowing I won't feel that again seems incomprehensible. However, I have felt it. I am so lucky that I have felt it twice! If I could bottle and sell that feeling I would. It's phenomenal and indescribable.
I know sometimes the journey to have a baby is not always an easy path and lots of people struggle and for some people it never happens and I would never take it for granted that I have two children.
Before we had Jonah and Sofia we had a miscarriage and that was very hard. Anyone who has experienced it will know the second you get that positive test you plan your whole life. For that to be whipped away in such a harsh way is devastating. I still think of that moment often. A hard time for a newly married couple to get through but without Stuart's love and support I wouldn't have coped. He was my rock and continues to be everyday and definitely stepped up for labour too.
I am so lucky to be a mum and spend each day with my incredible little people who make me laugh. I love them so much that I could burst. I just feel so lucky to be able to have my business which allows me to spend so much time with my family and that is what means the entire world to me.
Getting to teach people skills that not only prepare them for birth but beyond is really the best job in the world. But knowing that when I leave, they will get to experience the most amazing feeling in the world is my favourite part of all.